How much our world has evolved over the years? Except one thing......human kindness.
I don't think that there has ever been a time when I have been out with the girl's, that a complete stranger hasn't noticed that I have twins. Some are very nice but most have some type of negative comment to throw my way. Over the past two and a half years I have heard "I don't know how you do it" more times than I can count. Or "I'm glad it's you instead of me" or the famous "double trouble".
When I first started to venture out with the girl's and I would hear these remarks from people I would simply smile and keep walking. Then it became very old to me after awhile. So old that eventually I began to ignore them or I would throw comments back at them.
Here are some of the comments I've heard, and how I handle it now when I hear them.
Strangers comment - "Double trouble"
Me - "No actually double blessing"
Stranger's comment - "Better you than me"
Me - "Yes I'm glad it is me"
Stranger's comment - "God bless you"
Me - "He did actually twice"
Stranger's comment - "Which one do you love more?"
Me - I actually just waked away when I heard that one.
The latest comment that was said to me by a complete and total stranger came recently while I was out enjoying the day with an old friend. I was in the public restroom changing the girl's and a women stopped and asked me how old they were. Here is how the conversation went....
Stranger - "How old are they?"
Me - "Two and a half"
Stranger - "Oh they are are twins"
Me - "yes"
Stranger - "Oh poor you" (with a sad look on her face)
Me - "Poor me? Why poor me?"
Stranger - "Well they are twins that's a lot of work"
Me - "Yes it is but I wouldn't say poor me. More like lucky me"
Stranger - "Well I have a three year old and a 7 month old and they drive me crazy!"
Me - "Oh poor you" (in a not so pleasant voice)
I won't even begin to describe what was really on the tip of my tongue to say to this individual, who for some reason thinks that it is a huge damper in life to have twins. I have to wonder if maybe she see's her own life as being interrupted by her 3 year old and 7 month old so everyone else must feel the same.
I think my life has been very blessed because of my girl's and I wouldn't have it any other way.
4 comments:
Well said Shannon! I can say though that I wonder how you guys with twins do it sometimes! And I totally agree that they are a double blessing! The problem is, is that these parents or individuals who say these things have not gone through what we have. They haven't almost lost their children, they haven't spent months in the hospital with them. This has made us appreciate our children so much more than some parents ever will. We are blessed to have our kids and we know it. It is just unfortunate that some parents will never understand HOW lucky they are. And sadly it is these parents who have term, healthy babies.
Over time I have realized that people just don't know what to say to us. I get poor Ashton all of the time when they hear he has CP. It does get old and now I just know in my mind that they will never be as lucky as I am.
Olivia and Avery are beautiful, special girls and they could not have a better mommy and daddy!
Big hugs to all of you!
I sometimes have to remind myself not to take these comments personally. We were out this weekend and another mother of twins was making them "I swear it gets easier" uh....I never said it was hard...
Some people never think before they open their mouths and like Shannon has said they will never really know how lucky and blessed they are to have healthy full term children. We get our fair share of dumb comments, I was at the mall with Elizabeth and she was walking with her walker, an elderly man told me it was really nice that I took her out and on the same day a mother told me it must be nice that my daughter will sit in her stroller. Some people are only aware of their own lives and are too narrow minded to see the greater picture. You have double the hugs, smiles and kisses and for that you are truly blessed.
I LOVE having twins, and thankfully I usually only get comments like, "you're so lucky." Although sometimes this one is followed by "you have a boy and girl. You're all set."
But yes, they're a lot of work, but having one child is, and all the "work" kids take is sooooo worth it to parents who truly love their kiddos.
I like your responses by the way!
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